Good Morning Everyone:

My personal walk with the Holy Spirit started off on a rocky road many years ago. As a young man of nineteen, I had gotten into a lot of trouble, and was facing the prospect of fifteen years in jail following a long string of crimes. I had been a one-man crime wave, and my fifteen minutes of fame, as it were, were nothing to be proud of. The pastor of our church had finally convinced my parents to bail me out of jail until my trial by putting up the mortgage to their home that they had just finished paying off. The one condition to my release being the requirement that I would have to attend a religious retreat for teenagers call an Emmaus.

One at the retreat house, I ran away several times, feeling very uncomfortable and out of place; I was certainly not the type of person that God was looking for, and I was just as convinced that I was not looking for Him either. The worst of it came at the end of the second day, when there came a ceremony called 'the washing of the feet'. Not wanting any part of that experience, I had strategically placed myself behind the only pillar in the room so as to exclude myself from the group. Just as it was about to end, a woman named Nancy noticed me in my hiding place behind the pillar and came over to me; she knelt down and washed my feet, and instead of drying them with a towel, she bowed down her head and kissed them clean, looked into my eyes and said "Ray, I love you, Jesus loves you and wants you to be with Him forever." I started to cry, long and hard, for hours on end, until my shirt was soaked and I was full of the redeeming love of God. I stayed up all that night and for the rest of that weekend, and went to talk to our spiritual director, Fr. Raphael, at three in the morning to confess my sins and ask for guidance. He heard my confession, and told me to go and pray over the Bible they had given us called "Good News For Modern Man" and that the Holy Spirit had a message for me there. I did so, prayed over the book and opened it at the Acts of the Apostles; there was a large picture of a man named Saul being struck off his horse on the road to Damascus. The parallels between Saul and I were unmistakable. It had been Saul's duty to persecute Jesus' followers and to put an end to the new church. I had done pretty much the same as he had in every chance I had, much to the chagrin of my family, friends, and loved ones. Once Jesus healed Saul, he changed his name to Paul and became a great evangelist to the Gentile world and one of the greatest saints in our church. That night I made a promise to God to live my life for Him, to change my ways like Saul had, and that if I ever had a son, I would name him Paul. Thanks to the intercession of the Lord, I never did make it to prison, and I never got into trouble again.

Fast forward a few decades, and I had lived a fairly decent Christian life and finally moved back home to this area after some years away in the military and working in the Midwest. I was blessed to meet the woman of my dreams and the partner for life, my loving wife Mary. She is the greatest treasure I have ever known and is definitely my better half; and if you ask her, she would tell you the same thing! We had tried for many years to have a baby, and following many prayers and medical procedures, we were blessed with a baby son, and yes, we named him Paul.

We believe that the Holy Spirit has guided us here to the community of faith at Sacred Heart and St. Rose of Lima, and we love the feeling of fellowship and family that is evident here. Although I had a spirit of giving and volunteering time to charity we knew something was wrong with me, both physically and spiritually. I was suffering from severe anxiety attacks on a regular basis, was treating my family very poorly, and had a hair-trigger temper. My wife and son were always wary of my mood when coming home from work and my moodiness started to dictate whether or not we would have a good day as a family. I could enjoy a wonderful Sunday mass with Mary and Paul and start a fight in the parking lot deciding which restaurant to go to for breakfast. I had faith in God, but was not about to let Him control my life or help to make any decisions for me. In short, I had become an obligatory Catholic, going to church on a regular basis while not knowing why, and only praying to God when I wanted or needed something. Sunday mass was the only time I read scripture from the Bible, and I never put my faith into action or discussed my religion with relatives, coworkers or strangers. In short, I had no personal relationship with God.

It was at that time when I was approached by Chris and Cheryl McInerney who asked if Mary and I would be interested in going to a Cursillo retreat at Holy Cross retreat house on the campus of Stonehill College in Easton. Cursillo is a back-to-basics retreat that rounds out what one has learned about Christ earlier in life. We eventually agreed to go early last year, and it was a life changing experience. On the first day, you do a lot of soul searching and self examination; being the analytical, controlling person that I am, I made an honest list of my good and bad points on paper, and did not like what I came up with. I knew in my heart what I had to do that weekend. I had to pray to the Holy Spirit for guidance, because I was no longer capable of handling life's pressures and obstacles on my own. During a group visit to the chapel, I was handed a crucifix and given the chance to pray to the Lord with the help of my brothers in Christ. I asked Jesus out loud to melt my hard heart and let His forgiving love in, and to share that love with everyone around me from that moment on.

That day, for the second time in my life, I truly accepted Jesus love when He extended His loving heart to me, and I will never be the same. I cried in joy with the repentant love only the Holy Spirit can give, and I went home a changed man. I started to pray daily, to tell my wife and son I loved them every single day, and am slowly learning to surrender control to the Lord that He may guide my faith and my actions. Whenever I pray, whenever I go to mass, the Spirit wants to reveal Jesus to my heart - His love, His mercy, and His power. He wants to break down the walls that keep me trapped in a narrow, shallow understanding of God's plan. He wants to do this so that He can form me into a person on fire with love for Him, willing to surrender my life to Him, and eager to bring His Good News to a wounded and hurtful world. To keep me on track and God number one in my life, I joined MPG, the men's prayer group that Chris had formed two years ago. Those men are my brothers in Christ, and we meet on a regular basis to pray to the Holy Spirit and support one another, to share our experiences, and to help one another step out in faith in the real world once Mass ends. Our family now prays together at night, and our family is so much the better for having God and His Holy Spirit at the forefront of our lives. My walk has been a rocky one at times, and I am still learning to put my faith and actions in the hands of His Holy Spirit to give me the things I need to live for the glory of God. Thank you for your time and God bless you all.